


here, at the end of all things

by wanderseeing



Series: poems for all these ships in the night [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderseeing/pseuds/wanderseeing
Summary: for Anthony. for Steven.(Poetry inspired by Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, after Endgame.)
Series: poems for all these ships in the night [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826206





	1. After Anthony

**Author's Note:**

> So this differs from the others works in this poetry series so far in that it's not ship-inspired, but rather just character-inspired. But as I drafted these poems pretty much back-to-back right after coming home from the midnight screening—not to mention that I do indeed ship Steve and Tony—I thought I'd place them into the series anyway. Aside from all these, they also stand out because they're not from the characters' perspectives, but actually from mine.
> 
> I had a lot of strange grief to work through after watching Endgame. Strange, because at the end of the day, these characters are just characters, and they aren't real. But well, it was grief all the same. I coped by writing these poems, and polishing them up until I felt ready to release them.
> 
> This chapter is for Tony.
> 
> (Work title taken from Lord of the Rings.)

_ After Anthony _

you’ve lost so much more than you can win back,

but this time, you’re okay with that.

you had everything you wanted to have,

and it’s always looked like competition with you

when it’s never been one. just the fact of one way,

the way no one else notices,

the way only you can see clearest because

god knows you’ve been blind before, 

have closed your eyes on days like today before,

when each breath means blood in your nose, 

blood down the side of your mouth,

the familiarity of getting back up again—

you’ve always had days like that,

the threat of you shattering like glass

making you live them like they’re your last.

it’s taken a lifetime to learn that the things you love

matter more when they might not matter anymore.

you know it intimately now, more than you used to,

back when it was just you with your iron spine,

and your weak heart turning over blue.

here at the end, you’re found frantic.

don’t lie, honey. i can see it in your eyes, the panic,

because what the hell do you know about rest?

the risk of it. the taste of it. the tragedy of wanting it.

the trouble of being dead.


	2. After Steven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Steve.

_ After Steven _

what was it, really, that made you want this?

was it lonely?

was it hurt?

was it being tired of putting everyone first?

it’s a tough one, solving the problem to being soft,

but honey it’s okay not to know it. i’m telling you

it’s okay. i’m telling you because 

i don’t think you’ve been told before,

just been left to decide on your own when 

everyone knows what a good heart needs is to be told 

when it’s had enough, when it’s given itself up too much. 

and you’ve found that you know less 

when you learn more,

that it feels like you don’t know anything else 

other than that you get left when you leave;

that you’re a professional at moving on,

that that’s a lie, but you can’t face it without coming undone;

that you’ve developed a habit of telling yourself anything

to feel better about the mess of everything,

and you’ve found perfect denial with the following:

you: at home with the truth.

the world: good to you, always.

you: an atlas. 

the world: light on your back.

that you can’t possibly want anything more than that.


End file.
